Novelist Running Through Time - Chapter 213

“How dare you dirty my ears with such nonsense!” or “It’s witchcraft!” It’s not for nothing that such words exist.

A Time-Traveling Novelist Chapter 214

“What do homosexuals say about homosexuality? They say it’s innate. That they were just born that way. What do you think? It’s a question without an answer. People have been fighting about this for decades, even centuries. But let’s think about it the other way around. What about heterosexuality? Is it innate? Of course it is.”

“Love is an innate factor. It’s an intense bait-like emotion that entices creatures to procreate and thrive. No matter how much humans write poems and sing songs, sanctimoniously wrapping love in holiness, the love of humans and the love of dogs are essentially the same in purpose.”

“Then what about the love that dominates modern popular culture? I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s no different from the short skirts put on idol stars. No matter how it’s packaged, whether it’s a drama, a novel, or a song, it’s ultimately the capitalization of sexuality.”

“Then what’s so special about it?”

EP 13-Myriad Changes

Park Chang-woon’s argument, which seemed to have dabbled in shallow waters when he was young, could be summarized as ‘Love is nothing special.’

After summarizing it, I felt like it was the title of a cheap ballad song that would rank in the top 20 of some chart…

Anyway, after listening to Park Chang-woon’s ‘Love is nothing special,’ I was quite depressed for a while.

Of course, it wasn’t because Park Chang-woon’s husky singing voice was excellent, but because I was originally weak to this kind of argument.

It’s hard to say exactly what ‘this kind’ is, but if I try to grasp the feeling, I think it can be expressed as something like ‘spoon theory.’

You know how there’s that spoon theory about gold spoons, silver spoons, and so on?

As someone who was born with a plastic spoon from Saebitneulbom Daycare, I can’t help but blindly believe in spoon theory because I’ve experienced it firsthand.

In that sense, I couldn’t help but be touched by the story that love is nothing more than the spoon a person is born with, even if I wanted to deny it.

And naturally, the anxiety that the old memories I cherished the most might be worth only that much followed.

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been reading martial arts novels lately (at Min Hyo-chan’s insistence), but I think it might have been wrong for me, who had mastered the Jeongjongmu Martial Arts, to seek instruction from the madman Jeong Sagigan, who was unmatched in martial arts.

I’m not sure if this is because I’ve been reading martial arts novels lately (due to Min Hyo-chan’s strong recommendation), but I can’t help but wonder if it was wrong of me, who has mastered the art of controlling my emotions, to seek guidance from a crazy person who is obsessed with love.

“Oh no, it’s really okay. I’ve read it before…”

‘How can you dirty my ears with such nonsense!’ or ‘It’s sorcery!’ Such words didn’t come out of nowhere.

In fact, Park Chang-woon’s words buzzed in my ears like a cunning spell, tormenting my mind.

At this rate, I might end up becoming a materialist-communist like Park Chang-woon…

‘Sorcery…!’

It was the job of a writer to indulge in useless fantasies, so it was common for them to become possessed by evil spirits, but this time, the evil spirit seemed a bit serious.

So, in order to heal my inner wounds, I visited a place that I usually found creepy.

However, creepiness and familiarity are two separate things.

Perhaps this place is creepy because it’s familiar.

“That kid looks like a writer…”

“Really…?”

“Should we go and ask?”

“I don’t know. What if he’s not…”

I passed the schoolyard where even the moss clinging to the walls felt familiar, and finally reached the building of the Department of Creative Writing at the College of Humanities.

And without asking anyone for directions, I boldly crossed a place I had never visited in this life.

Passing by crowds of college students chattering, rummaging through their bags, running, grumbling about being hungry, looking at each other, and sometimes looking at me in surprise, I finally…

Knock, knock, knock.

I knocked on the door of the professor’s office, and it slowly opened.

“Ah! Writer Moon!”

“Hello, Professor.”

“Come in!”

The grandmaster of the Korean literary world greeted me with a big smile.

* * *

Gu Hak-jun’s office was not much different from what I remembered.

It was more like a library than an office.

“You have ‘Flowers’ here.”

He wasn’t talking about the succulents in my house, but Takehiko Fukunga’s ‘Flowers’.

As soon as Gu Hak-jun saw me pick up a book from the bookshelf, his eyes sparkled like a grandmother who had just seen her grandson take out some pollack roe from the refrigerator.

“Would you like to take one?”

“No, it’s okay.”

“You can take it… Have you read this one?”

Gu Hak-jun dangled So Ji-shi’s ‘Fall’ in front of me like a child teasing a cat with catnip.

I flinched for a moment, but I’m not a cat, and I don’t fall for such temptations.

“No, really, it’s fine. I read it a long time ago….”

“Tsk.”

Leaving Koo Hak-jun, who was taking a sip of his cup of defeat, behind, I looked around his paper-scented office.

The gigantic bookshelves surrounded the room on all sides, barely revealing the window.

As if that wasn’t enough, small booklets filled the office everywhere, acting as partitions.

Of course, all the bookshelves were full of books.

To put it nicely, it was a library, but at first glance, it was more like a warehouse.

I know one secret about this study…

It’s not like there are masterpieces on the right bookshelf and trash on the left.

Koo Hak-jun’s home study has the exact same books arranged in the exact same way.

It’s so that he can give the books in his professor’s office to someone as a gift at any time.

So to speak, the books at home are for his collection.

The books in his office can be said to be for gifts, education, and proselytism(?).

In other words, all the books in Koo Hak-jun’s study were ‘books that he wanted to recommend to someone.’

In terms of the criteria for distinguishing good books as ‘can they be recommended’, and the fact that he doesn’t just leave such thoughts as thoughts and puts them into action, one can see how true an educator Koo Hak-jun is.

But why…

Mr. Moon, I’m really sorry to say this, but…

“Haah…”

A sigh rose from deep within my heart. I want a cigarette.

Anyway, whenever I meet Koo Hak-jun, my insignificant appearance naturally comes to mind.

But sometimes you have to make sacrifices for literature.

I confessed my situation to Koo Hak-jun, who had an expression that said, ‘Why is he suddenly acting like this… is something wrong with him…?’

“Professor, it’s not that…”

* * *

“Senior Park, that guy really can’t say anything he shouldn’t in front of a woman…”

“Haha…”

There weren’t many people in the Korean literary world who could refer to the great Park Chang-woon as ‘that guy’.

What’s more, when Koo Hak-jun was angry, he would even yell, ‘Hey!’

Koo Hak-jun harshly criticized Park Chang-woon’s ‘Love, What is it?’

“That’s because Senior Park still hasn’t gotten over Marxism. Please understand, Writer Moon. No, how old are you and you’re still into Marx…”

As someone who was once his disciple, I listened to my teacher’s nagging with one ear and let it go out the other.

“No matter how much you’re a part of the activist movement, as a novelist who’s achieved success, you should gradually find your own world. Why are you so immersed in their ideology? I’ve told you several times that if you look closely at those jerks, they’re actually nothing…”

The nagging of the novelist, who wasn’t a graduate of a French university but was simply from France (Koo Hak-jun was born in Paris), continued for a while longer.

Once you’ve experienced a bit of racial discrimination, your illusions about Europe tend to disappear.

As I patiently endured Koo Hak-jun’s nagging, the mild-mannered Koo Hak-jun regained his senses.

“Oops.”

Koo Hak-jun smiled sheepishly.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I got sidetracked for a moment.”

“No, it’s okay…”

“Anyway, my thoughts are a little different from Mr. Park’s…”

After Park Chang-woon’s “Love, That’s All It Is” ended, Koo Hak-jun’s “What Love Is” began.

“First of all, I agree with Mr. Park that love is a chemical and commonplace emotion.”

“Is that so?”

“Of course, if you go deeper, the story changes, but we’re talking about the research topic that Writer Moon is interested in these days, , right?”

“That’s right.”

“Then love is nothing more than a hormonal reaction, and it’s a common desire to reproduce, right?”

Koo Hak-jun acknowledged the very cold premise with a gentle face.

But he always had a philosophy.

“But is it meaningless to deal with it as art, as Mr. Park says? I don’t think so.”

“Then, even in a common love song…”

“There’s value beyond the commonplace.”

Koo Hak-jun smiled kindly and began the class.

Apart from all the logic that existed between the numerous time zones between him and me, I, too, could never deny the value of this time.

In order not to waste precious time, I paid attention to every word Koo Hak-jun said…

“Love is an instinct as a living being, it’s common, in other words, it’s a universal value, and because of that, it’s the easiest to get a popular consensus, so it’s used as a standard repertoire by artists… Up to this point, it’s common sense that needs no further explanation. Supply and demand. Of course. But let’s go one step further.”

“Yes…”

“People like ‘love.’ Is it to find an ideal type in their imagination? Is it because they yearn for a simulated romance with an idol in their fantasies? Is it because they can’t overcome the instinct of reproduction? Does this mean they underestimate humans too much?”

“Well… no.”

“No, humans are just that much.”

“…?”

“You’re talking about ‘popular art’ right now. The public is just at that level.”

“……???”

Listening to Koo Hak-jun’s ‘the public are all pigs,’ I doubted my ears.

I wondered if I was truly understanding Koo Hak-jun’s words correctly.

But what Koo Hak-jun was saying was indeed correct about the ‘pigs’ theory.

“Human beings are animals. Kings and beggars, men and women, presidents and convenience store part-timers, old and young, no one can escape from their sexual desires. Just look at all the scandals on the internet, you know, right?”

“That’s, that’s right.”

“Park Chang-woon overestimates human potential too much. He thinks love is the most worthless aspect of humans that artists can handle, but no. This level suits humans just fine. Love is everything.”

“……”

I found a glimmer of madness in Koo Hak-jun’s eyes after a long time.

Indeed, Gu Yubin and Gu Yuna are Koo Hak-jun’s daughters.

“One step further, let’s go a little deeper.”

One step further, a little deeper, it was Koo Hak-jun’s habit of speech.

More precisely, it was a habit of speech that only popped up when he was immersed in a lecture.

Thanks to that, it was a sound I hadn’t heard in a long time.

I straightened my posture as if I were a student back then and listened carefully.

“The producers of popular art create love, and consumers consume love. The love dealt with here is about lust or the action of hormones. Everyone desires that kind of love. But why is that?”

Koo Hak-jun seemed like he was about to answer himself, but fell silent, prompting a push.

“Will you answer once?”

“…Reproductive instinct?”

Koo Hak-jun nods.

“That’s the operating principle of both sexual desire and love.”

With a face that seemed like a ‘5 point deduction for Saebitneul Spring Daycare Center,’ Koo Hak-jun continued his lecture while looking at me.

“Think about it, I like dramas too. But I have two daughters. So, am I also engulfed by instinct while watching dramas? Are the ladies talking about dramas at the hair salon also immersed in dramas while being engulfed by instinct?”

“No….”

“No…….”
Not a joke.

“The reason why people like dramas and long for love is because they want an ideal type.”

Koo Hak-jun’s correct answer came out.

Ideal type.

Idol.

In other words, a role model.

“Pursuing an ideal type in your imagination is a human instinct. It’s also natural to feel love for that person. There’s something more than just the desire to reproduce behind it. It’s the longing for perfection.”

“Yes…….”

“Perfection, completion, flawlessness, idea… Maybe even divinity. The perfection that each person pursues is different. It’s like beauty. Maybe perfection can be beauty….”

“Yes…….”

“Everyone pursues perfection in this way, but the reason why everyone pursues perfection is the same. It’s because they know they are imperfect themselves.”

“Yes…….”

“Everyone has shortcomings. And because they can’t fill those shortcomings, they become hopeless, and desperate, and negative, and lost. That’s why humans desire perfection, utopia, and idols. Do you understand? In a way, love is no different from idol worship. You don’t see the other person in the other person, but you find the perfection that you think of.”

“Longing is the furthest emotion from understanding….”

“Oh! That’s a very appropriate saying. Which philosopher said that?”

“I, I forgot.”

“Yes, yes, the name doesn’t matter. Just keep the teaching in your heart. After all, it’s too much of a pain to mention the philosopher’s name every time you talk. It’s not like Confucius said, Mencius said, haha!”

“……Haha!”

“But just for today, let’s be a little more verbose. Kierkegaard called this form of despair a fatal illness…….”

“Yes…….”

“Ethical existence and religious existence are….”

“Yes…….”

“On the other hand, despair is unique to humans….”

“Yes…….”

“So, if we expand on despair a little more….”

“Yes…….”

* * *

Gu Yoo-bin said that love is lust,

Park Chang-woon went a step further and said that it was a chemical reaction that caused lust,

And Koo Hak-jun said that it was like a golden calf that weak humans, who were caught up in a despair that was like a ‘fatal illness’, pursued in order to turn their eyes away from their own imperfections.

I finished Koo Hak-jun’s class feeling like I had caught a ‘fatal illness’.

I can say with confidence that listening to Koo Hak-jun’s class is just as painful as actually having a ‘fatal illness’, because I’ve had one before.

It’s not a joke.

Anyway, even the fact that it wasn’t a joke that it wasn’t a joke, I seriously started to think a little more deeply about ‘love’ after Professor Koo Hak-jun’s class.

I also realized how shallow the concept of love that I have been thinking of so far was.

Of course, it’s true that the concept of love dominating mainstream popular culture is shallow.

However, the feelings of those who pursue such love are not shallow.

I feel the need to think a little more about why cheap love has come to dominate the world.

On the other hand, even though outwardly they are complete opposites, I also thought that Koo Hak-jun is a much more cynical person than Park Chang-woon.

Indeed, the Frenchman Koo Hak-jun doesn’t have the strong affection of a Korean…

No wonder he’s so decisive in his decisions…

“……”

Putting aside thoughts that seem to bring tears of blood, I returned to the original topic.

It was the first question that started on the drama set.

What is love?

What is beauty?

While being engulfed in such thoughts, I managed to digest the burdens of daily life.

Ignoring Im Yang-wook’s plea to shoot the ad, and also pushing aside Magi-hoon’s suggestion to exercise…

I wandered around the drama set where Gu Yuna and Ahn Ju-hee were still causing accidents…

I also did an interview about the production of the album ‘Marionette’ at the request of the Baekhak Entertainment lyricists…

I completely messed up the end-of-term exam for the first semester of the first year at Baekhak High School…

After the exams, I stopped by the club presentation preparation, which was usually approaching…

“What?”

There, I heard shocking news.

“We’re dating….”

“What?”

“Oh! We’re dating!”

A blushing Ahn Ju-hee snapped at me.

And next to her, Moon Ji-seop was awkwardly smiling…

“…You two are dating?”

“Yeah, we are.”

“…How long have you been together?”

Ahn Ju-hee snapped again.

“Oh! We’re not kids, we can date for a while! Or we might just date for a while!”

“What?”

‘What?’ was not something I said, it was said by Moon Ji-seop.

It seems like only Ahn Ju-hee had an open mind.

I also felt like I needed to adjust my mindset about love.

Maybe. Do kids these days just date for a while without meeting for even half a year, and if it doesn’t work out, break up…?

Is there such a form of love…?

It can’t be.

“This is so light…!!!”